Tag Archives: parenting

No Speech Party?!

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A No Speech Party? No….

 

We have rules…not many…but the one’s we have we stick to

~ Parenting – It’s all about consistency ~

Rules such as –

  • Keep hands, feet, and all objects to yourself
  • You MUST wear pants when going outside
  • Etc….

Nothing too major…but one rule is ‘If you don’t finish therapy you get no iPad or computer for the evening’. Fair enough, right? I guess that would depend on who you asked…..

A convo with the Little Man:

Me: If you don’t finish speech you get no iPad

After few minutes of him shenanaginizing….

Me: Okay, no iPad

10 minutes later….and just realizing the consequences of his actions….

Little Man: iPad

Me: No iPad

Little Man: Computer

Me: No computer

Little Man: iPad

Me: No computer, no iPad, no nothing! You didn’t do speech you’re out of luck until tomorrow

Little Man: Party

Me: No party….no speech, no party!

Little Man: Outside

Me: Yes! Go outside…that sounds like a great place to play!

A few minutes later…. Commotion coming from out back….

Me: Whatcha doing?

Little Man: No Speech Party!! (as he throws his confetti in the air)

Something was lost in translation…

I say No Speech, No Party

He hears No Speech Party

I give up!

Beatitudes For The Handicapped

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To those of you who selflessly help those who cannot help themselves, you cannot imagine how important what you do is.  THANK YOU!!!! I ran across this a few years back and I hope you enjoy::

 

Beatitudes For The Handicapped
~ Blessed are those who take time to listen to the defective speech, for you help us to know that if we persevere we can be understood.
~ Blessed are those who walk with us in public places and ignore the stares of strangers for in your companionship we find havens of relaxation.
~ Blessed are those who never bid us “hurry up” and more blessed are you that do not snatch out tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.
~ Blessed are those who stand beside us as we enter new ventures, for our failures will be Outweighed by the times we surprise ourselves and you.
~ Blessed are those that ask for our help, for our greatest need is to be needed.
~ Blessed are those when by all these things you assure us that the thing that makes us individuals is not out peculiar muscles, nor our wounded nervous systems, but it is the God-given self that no infirmity can confine.
~ Blessed are those who realize that we are human and don’t expect us to be saintly just because we have a disability.
~ Blessed are those that pick things up without being asked.
~ Blessed are those who understand that sometimes I am weak and not just lazy.
~ Blessed are those who forget the disability of my body and see the shape of my soul.
~ Blessed are those who see me as a whole person, unique and complete and not as one of God’s mistakes.
~ Blessed are those who love me just as I am without wondering what I would ve been like.
~ Blessed are my friends upon whom I depend, for they are the substance and joy of my life!
By Majorie Chappell

 

In The Checkout

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The little man and I are standing in the checkout line at the grocery, there’s a customer ahead of me and I have no cart so I’m trying to put the groceries from my bag onto the conveyor belt and keep an antsy tired boy near me. The little man was leaning with his elbows on the conveyor belt, hands over ears, standing quietly and relatively still, he wasn’t even one foot behind me. The lady behind me was apparently in such a rush to get her groceries on the conveyor that she couldn’t be bothered to tap my shoulder and ask if I could get my son to move. Instead she put 2…yes 2…hands on his back and physically moved him. It took everything I had not to shank her with my keys for even touching my son.

I turned to her and told her ‘Don’t EVER put your hands on my kid again’.
She looked at me with a blank dumbfounded look on her face, like I’m crazy…how dare I say something to her, and said- ‘Well I asked him to move and he wouldn’t so I gently moved him’
Me- ‘He doesn’t speak, he doesn’t understand you, he has autism’
Her- ‘Well I asked him to move’
Me- ‘Again, I don’t care what you asked him, if you have an issue with MY son you can tell me, I’m 2 inches from him’

Just because I look like everyone else, doesn’t mean I am like everyone else!! <3

All she had to do was apologize somewhere in there…or even just stop talking, nope not this lady, she continuously defended her behavior…Apparently special needs or not, parent nearby or not, she feels it’s okay to put her grubby hands on my son. I don’t know about you, but if I have issue with a child or child’s behavior I’ll talk to the parents…it’s not my place to lecture, much less physically move, someone’s child. The thing people fail to realize…other than we are given common sense for a reason…is that an autism kiddo may look just like every other kid but that doesn’t mean they understand the same things other kids their age might understand…and regardless of a child’s level of understanding you take up any issues you have with a child with that child’s parents not with the child.

I’m a pro at ignoring peoples rude stares when we are out and about, ignoring the rude comments they make under their breath. I’m thankful I didn’t flip out, I didn’t raise my voice, I was much calmer than I thought I’d be if ever thrown in a sticky situation…but DON”T EVER PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY KIDS!! So…Am I crazy??? Would you have just let it go?

Our shenanigans were actually caused by a rude adult…which IMO is worse, at least a child can still be taught

This week I’m hanging out at Yeah Write’s hangout grid…have you stopped by and checked out all the awesomeness??

If You Give A Mom A……

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If you give a mom a ________

  • If you give a mom a crying baby she will hold and comfort it
  • If you give a mom a hungry baby she will feed it
  • If you give a mom a hug she will probably smack you….unless you’re her child, then she’ll smile and give you a giant bear hug back
  • If you give a mom a child with a booboo she will kiss it and make it all better
  • If you give a mom a giant pile of dirty clothes she will launder them
  • If you give a mom dirty dishes she will wash them
  • If you give a mom a simple Thank You you’d be amazed at far it will go
  • If you give a mom a few scraps you’d be amazed at the feast she can whip up
  • If you give a mom a list, at 11p.m.,  that says her child will bring  40 cupcakes for the party at school TOMORROW, she will bake them
  • If you give a mom 2 hours she very well may take a nap
  • If you give a mom a kid free vacation she will spend ¾ of it worrying about and missing their children
  • If you give a mom a skateboard she will hop on, pretend she knows what she’s doing, bust her ass, and do it all again, all to make the kiddos smile
  • If you give a mom a couple of blankets and a chair she’ll make a killer fort and spend the day hiding out in it….with the children of course….
  • If you give a mom bored whiney children you’d be amazed at the games she’ll come up with
  • If you give a mom a bottle of rum, you’ll have one happy momma

I have to admit I’ve never read the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie books, but my kiddos have and I liked the title so much I’m running with my own spin on a list of things that happen If You Give a Mom a _________…..Hope you enjoy

Mom Duties …Making a sick monster SMMIIILLLEEE

read to be read at yeahwrite.me

If you can teach a dog to sit…..

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Yes, I did just compare child raising to puppy training, and yes I know some of you are shaking your heads at me as you read this. I’m not comparing your child, or mine, to a dog, all I’m saying is consistency is key. I get tired of all the excuses people make. Any child can learn and as a parent it’s our job to teach them.

Just my two cents ;P

-Sara 

Celeb Moms

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Celeb Moms Like Me?? Lots probably are….

They get up for 2 am feedings, diaper changes, to clean puke, they cook, they play with their kids, they do all the ‘typical’ MomDuties, they spend time with their cuties, they show them what family and parenting are…..

…Then their are these ladies….

-Kids are exhausting…we all can agree…but I will never forget sitting on my floor, hair going every which way, baby twin boys on my lap….this is when Oprah came on after General Hospital so I’d always catch the first few minutes of her show…anyways I digress… Julia Roberts was on her show that day and she had recently had her twins as well…She was sitting there saying how much of a blessing it is but how exhausting raising twins is…BULLSHIT….I’d be exhausted too if I had nannies, people to clean and cook for me, a guest spot I’m getting paid big-time to do as an escape from my mom duties….To this day I can’t see her on TV without wanting to gag….

-Famous Autism Moms – Yes autism, or any special need can be challenging but they have money for therapy…It would cost me $4,000/a month for ABA therapy for each of my children….that’s $48,000 a year per child  (that insurance doesn’t cover)….That’s chump change to most celebs….

-Then there’s the attention whore mom…not looking in the direction of the Lohans’ or anything….Be happy for your kid, and most of all be a parent to your kid….

-I have to confess I was an Osbourne addict when their show was on, and I’m still loving Sharon on The Talk, but man would it be so much easier to parent if you had nannies to do it….and it’s not just the Osbournes…think Kimora Life In The Fab Lane

 

-Angelina Jolie’s hubby ratted her out saying she won’t cook more than a bowl of cereal….Man those are some understanding kids….or wait…kids with a cook….I couldn’t even make grilled cheese pre-kids but I had to learn….and quick!

-Brittany Spears appears to at least semi have it together these days but….well I’m just going to stop on this one…no point in picking on an easy target….

-Celebs in general…where are their kids? I’ll admit you see a few shots here and there of some celebs spending time with their kids but it appears, at least in what we see, that their kids are rarely anywhere around them….

At the end of the day we are all still moms….we are all still the doing the best we can within our means  (well most moms…) ….I don’t expect these ladies to feel guilty about what they have, I’d do exactly the same thing in their situation, use every advantage I have available to make my children be the best they can be, and hell if I never had to change a diaper I probably wouldn’t complain,  but I wouldn’t go and tell others I’m just like them, I understand their struggles….

Funny thing is the celeb dads you see seem way more interested in their kids than celeb moms….Snoop coaches his kids football, Bruce Jenner does everything around their house….Mamma Jenner only seems interested in her kids that can bring in $$$….but then again we only see what the media says we see so who knows…..

Coaching the kids

You know that old saying ‘You think you know but you have no idea….’

Cate Blanchett, Son, & Nanny

What a nice mom to give the nanny a break from pushing the stroller....

Autism Is & Isn’t

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Autism is:

  • Finding new creative ways to teach our cuties, it’s not that they aren’t smart it’s that they learn differently, you have to find what works for each child individually
  • Knowing when to stop pushing to avoid meltdowns / but knowing how much to push to encourage learning.
  • Positive Reinforcers (aka bribery)…and lots of them….hey I don’t work for free either…just saying
  • Different for every child …just as every child is different, autism or not
  • As a parent, trying to give your child all the fun experiences any child should get the opportunity to enjoy, all while sheltering them from the stares, the possible sensory overloads, and the general assheadness of many out there who mistake things like stimming for misbehaving
  • Celebrating the small victories
  • Remembering that autism is not our kids, our kids may have autism, but our kids are still just kids
  • Realizing that no matter how frustrating it may feel at times from the parent side of it, remembering it’s a million times more frustrating for our cuties…not being able to express what they are trying to, it’s heartbreaking
  • Being a translator…to the world my sons speaks a foreign language, to me he speaks pretty clearly
  • A constant fear of regression
  • You, as a parent, fighting for all the services your kids need and finding ways to make sure they get them

Autism isn’t:

  • Caused by lazy parents..while experts cannot agree on what causes autism, and I have my own 2 cents on the issue….it is 100% NOT caused by lazy parenting
  • All savants and rainmen, yes there are some true geniuses out there…some with autism, some without, but autism doesn’t always = geniusness
  • Excuses….as parents it’s our job to make sure our kids learn; learn right from wrong, learn appropriate behaviors, learn anything and everything they can learn, anything and everything we can teach them, no excuses are acceptable
  • Therapy 24/7, or at least it shouldn’t be….yes consistency is important, but remembering that everyone needs a break and needs down time is equally important. I don’ t get parents that push therapy all the time…My job is to be mom, to tackle the mom duties, the therapists job is to do therapy….my job is to carry over what I can into the home, not to do hours of nightly drills after my kiddos already put in a full day at school and after school therapy
  • Bad…I hate all the whinning…in fact I have 2 posts ranting all about it, just waiting for my Bloggy Blankittis to go away so I can finish up the posts….Venting is 100% okay, but realizing autism isn’t bad/terrible/tragic/the end of the world is so important.

So…to sum up my mini rant….Autism is learning new creative ways to make sure our cuties learn, everything else is just parenting….remembering our kids are still kids and are perfect just the way they are, and LOVING them like CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And a final thought on being nonverbal, “Just because I have no words doesn’t mean I have nothing to say”.

I’m sort of cheating this week….I wrote this post a few weeks ago, but due to the blog move it didn’t really get seen, and since April is Autism Awareness Month I thought I’d reshare my two cents on what Autism Is & Isn’t…Hope you enjoy…and hope you don’t mind my cheating rule bending :)

It’s A Blogoversary Blog Bash!

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It’s Allison & Ado’s Blog Bash – They’re celebrating their Blogoversaries with a fun link-up….and you know I love a link-up!!

Here’s the deal::: You take one of you fav posts, grab a Blogoversary button, and link it up, then read everyone else’s awesome posts…I can do this, it sounds like a plan!!

First up – The linking up….Not to toot my own horn but I’m pretty amused with a lot of my old posts, as I’m sure most of you are with your own old posts…I think it’s more that flipping through old posts is like a mini rewind that that I think I just write that amazingly well lol….The one I’m sharing today is all about Sanity Savers…we all have them, but I hear so many moms who don’t use them…I don’t know why….but I’m hoping you can laugh with me though these ramblings, share your own sanity savers, and take a second to remember that we all have our own little sanity savers and we should use them!! :)

 

 

A post from last summer, during the last few days of #SummerVacayHell:::

 

 

 

Sanity Savers

Sanity Savers…

We all have them, what are yours?? Some of mine you may laugh at, or think is this woman mad, but enjoy…and comment below your sanity savers…I’d love to hear them all!

  • Chocolate – A good piece of chocolate can, maybe not fix, but mask a lot of frustrations

    Sanity Saving Munchies

  • Music – I’m famous for my one eared parenting. One ear on the kids, one ear with an ear bud blasting something awesome. This one’s great for the car too, when all you can think is, ‘If I have to listen to this Barney DVD one more time I’ll pull my own ears off’.
  • The boys iPods – You’d be amazed at how peaceful my house can become when the iPods have been distributed and everyone’s You-Tubing away. Plus, they have actually learned a ton from their YouTube addiction (for those interested in this sanity saving method check out KidsTv123 on YouTube).
  • My iPod – Escaping into a game, the news, or a social media site can be just the break my brain needs.
  • A Drive – On a day filled with whining and fighting sometimes loading everyone up and saying lets go is just what we need. Whether it’s a trip to Happy Hour at Sonic, or Fries and Pies at Mc’D’s, a $5.00 Hot & Ready at Little Caesars, or just a drive thru the old part of town to see something we have never noticed all these years. Staying home gets boring for us and for them, we never get out of the car just drive slow and soak in the scenery.
  • A quick phone call- Step into your room, even if the kids are screaming in the background, those that love you and know your stresses will tolerate your crazy screaming kids to give you a 5 min sanity check, I promise. Call your spouse just to say ‘Hi’, call your mom, sibling, or grandparent, a friend. You don’t have to whine about your problems, just say Hey. Talk about something/anything that’s kid free…clear your mind…distract yourself.
  • Lose yourself in a project – You’d be amazed at how much more motivating cleaning a bathroom can be if you know that if you’re not cleaning you’re refereeing.
  • The TV – I don’t care what the ‘experts’ say…the ‘experts’ don’t have 3 kids with special needs, hell most probably don’t even have 1 kid. No, TV shouldn’t raise you child, but I belive it’s 100% okay to throw a movie on so you can do dishes, take a shower, play with one of your other kids, or just prop your feet up for a few minutes
  • Fresh Air- I know it’s hot, especially in this part of summer, but send the kids out early in the morning or late at night. Let them run in the back yard, splash in the sprinkler, drink from the hose, fill a kiddie pool…you know all that stuff we did as kids that now they say is bad for them ;)
  • A craft – As much as dread the thought of cleaning up after painting or baking with the kids, once we get started, even though it never goes as I planned, we all have a blast. Cover the table or floor with a big piece of butcher paper, or an old sheet, and let them go wild. Then hose them off in the backyard for easy clean-up, and I’m pretty sure, while it’s still summer, being hosed off counts as a ghetto bath (Lazy Mom Win!!!)

  • My Mom Hide Out

    Hide – Yes, I said it; Yes, I do it. No, I don’t lock myself in a room and ignore my kids. But from time to time, on a particularly stressful day I’ve been known to put a movie on and sneak off into my room (door open) and hide out for a few minutes of quiet to unwind before I get busted by the monsters.

  • Laugh – If I didn’t laugh every time I came around the corner to find a child covered head to toe in pancake syrup, peanut butter, dish soap, butter, the list goes on…, I’d lose my mine. I used to stress about the messes, but they don’t matter. Just laugh at the memory your making, have the monster attempt to help with clean up, and hide whatever helped to cause the disaster.

    I’m Glad He Enjoyed The Cake

  • Mommy Juice – there’s nothing wrong with a little spiked OJ or a pina colada every now and then…just remember, “A man’s gotta know his limitations” [Good advice, not only when it comes to drinking, but to life in general...that Clint Eastwood is one wise old man ;) ]
  • Remember ‘They’re only young once” – Make memories, take pictures, focus on the postitives…and on a crap day pull out the pictures and flashback to all the wonderful memories, then go out and make more. They grow up way to fast. I don’t care how overused that saying is, it couldn’t be more true.
  • Take a break to remember all you have- I posted this the other day, but it’s worth repeating, a quote from an old Yaga tee, ‘Too Blessed To Be Stressed”. Even when we feel we are at our wits end we all have something to be grateful for, even if it’s as simple as the air we breathe.
  • Pray

Van Wilder said it best “Worrying’s like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere”

And a final thought on those days where you feel you want to snap and you can’t get a ‘me time’ break, remember my motto, “No matter how much shit the throws at you, it will keep going…so I will keep going…knee deep in dookie and kicking ass the whole way”

–>A quick disclaimer – All the fast food establishments listed above, as well as You Tube, iPod, and KidsTV123 have no idea I’m even writing about them, and everything here is just my two cents. It may or may not work for your family ;)

 

I have to say favorite Sanity Savers are still - Pray, Laugh, and One Eared Parenting

Now for Part 2 – I’m off to blogstalk check out all the other great posts that have already linked up…It’s not too late for you to join in the Blogoversary Fun!! :)